Weigh In # 11 (late)

Yes, I realize I'm a day late in weighing in.  Actually, I did weigh myself yesterday, so technically I'm just late in posting the results. 

It's been a difficult week - my last at my current job - and incredibly emotional. 

Anyone who has read my blog (or met me) knows that I'm an admitted emotional eater.  Given this week's stress, emotions, and hormones from hell, (and did I mention stress?) it's a wonder that I haven't gained back all 9 pounds that I've lost so far! 

Long story short, I maintained my weight for another week.  I didn't work out as much as I should have (long gone are the daily workouts that I was so proud of in the beginning of my little endeavor), nor did I make the smartest of food choices.

I didn't do my best, but at least (after admitting that) I can move ahead this week with motivation to do better.  I can be secure in the fact that I'm about to be a busy little bee, as we prepare for our move next weekend.  Also, in addition to walking at the park and riding my stationary bike while watching tv, I'm sure to get a workout by packing up and loading an endless array of boxes and household items into a rather large moving truck over the next several days.

Not a loss, but anything's better than gaining it all back!

P.S.  I spent 30 minutes on the bike this evening!

A New Trend

Ok, I know that only a few days ago I was talking about needing to stay away from the weight loss articles that seem to pop up every 5 minutes on the internet and in magazines. 

Well, that was until I saw an article on Yahoo about a new trend in diet foods - larger portions for less calories.

Hello!

Needless to say, it caught my eye and I was compelled to read on.  

Typically any kind of diet food is based on small portions and food that (if you're lucky) tastes vaguely like what it's advertised to be. 

Apparently now, a company called Arctic Zero has an "ice cream" (I put it in quotes because that's what they did in the article - red flag!) that is only 150 calories for an entire pint!

Again, hello!

Now, it boasts all kinds of key words and catch phrases that those of us battling our bodies look for (and dream about) when we try to eat healthy.  "All Natural", "Gluten Free", "Fat Free", "Whey Protein" - you get the idea.  

So, I'm wondering if it's worth a try, or if it will end up being like other diet foods that taste vaguely like they're supposed to.

I know I'm not alone in my battle, not only against my body in general, but against portion sizes.  Everywhere I go, I'm faced with double or triple the amount of food that I need, but I go ahead and see how much of it I can gorge myself on before I explode.

Portion control, you are my nemesis!

Anyway, back to the issue at hand - getting to eat an entire pint of ice cream (as if I need to) without the guilt (or calories) that come from scarfing down a pint of Ben & Jerry's!  It looks like you can order it from Amazon, though I don't know how I feel about having ice cream shipped to me - might be a gooey mess by the time it arrives.

The website is www.myarcticzero.com.

I'm wondering if anyone else has heard of this, tried it, or knows more about it than I do!

I'm tempted!!!!

Articles Don't Help!

Lead story on Yahoo today - "20 Habits Making You Fat".

Really???

That's just what I need - a list of "fat behaviors" to read through.  One of two things happen when I read these evil "lets get healthy, it's easy" articles.  1.)  I think to myself "I do that, I do that too, oh no, I've done this to myself" or 2.)  I read the article only to say "This isn't me, I don't do any of those things".

Either I come away from those articles convinced that my weight problem is of my own doing and that I'm a medley of unhealthy behaviors, or convinced beyond a reasonable doubt that the article has nothing to do with me, and I'm even more confused and frustrated about my weight than I was to begin with - after all, if I don't do the "fat behaviors", I shouldn't be fat, right???

Long story short, I need to stay away from those articles!  I know what unhealthy behaviors are, and I'm pretty sure, using my deductive reasoning skills, that I can figure out what healthier alternatives would be. 

Eat more fruits and vegetables.  Don't choose white bread.  Drink lots of water.  Exercise.  Portion control.

Duh!

These articles make it sound like if you cut out the "fat behaviors" you won't be fat anymore.  Oh, if only that were true, I'd weigh 90 pounds and be on a feeding tube!

*Sigh*

Weigh In # 10

I want for my scale to have sound effects.  I think it would be great to have a voice congratulating me when I've lost weight, though, on the other hand, I'd probably be flung head first into a full-on emotional breakdown if I was greeted with a mocking voice telling me that I'd gained weight.

Either way, I think it could work. 

This morning, for example, I would have loved to her a little congratulatory music or some pre-recorded crowds cheering when I stepped on the scale to find that I'd lost another pound!

You heard it right, folks - 9 pounds down!!!!!

Of course, my scale seems to be a little schizophrenic.  I know that depending on what time of day you weigh yourself, you get a different result.  Well, my scale seems to be taking this to the next level, and is in all likelihood, messing with me!

I weighed myself when I woke up.  I didn't like what I saw, so I decided to wait and weigh myself a little later.  About 2 hours later, I hopped on the scale again, and almost fainted when the number had gone up a pound (no bueno)!!!!  So, I went about my morning, showered, got dressed, and just as an afterthought decided to give the scale one more chance to make me happy (or at least not curl up in the corner sucking my thumb).  This time, thankfully, it showed that I'd lost weight.  Good thing, because I was about 10 seconds from chucking the darn thing through a window!

Anyway, apparently on my weigh in days I need to give the scale a couple of chances to get it right.  Of course, my definition of "getting it right" is showing that I've lost weight =)

For this week, I'm calling it a solid win!  One pound down, which I really needed, and only 41 more to go!!!!

Numbers Don't Lie

As much as I'd love to go on denying it, I'm overweight.  Actually, I'm sure by any standard BMI definition, I'm probably obese.  Lovely!  I can feel my self esteem beginning to soar...oh, no, wait...there it goes...crashing back down to earth where it belongs!

Fortunately for me, (knock on wood), I don't have any weight related medical problems.  I'm sure a physician could look at me and start spouting off the things that I'm more likely to develop than someone who weighs 120 lbs, but at least at this point, I haven't had to deal with high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, or the multitude of other delightful ailments linked to obesity.

Unfortunately, that doesn't keep me from feeling unhealthy, knowing that those darn numbers on the scale are way too high, wanting to be different, and feeling like I'm stuck in a deep hole with no hope of being able to climb out.

I had a (much needed) hard dose of reality a few days ago.  I finally went online to cancel (yet again) my Weight Watchers membership.  *Side note - I haven't been using it, and seeing as we're in money-saving-mode right now, I feel like the monthly membership fee can be better spent on something a little more important.*  So, just for fun (and by "fun" I mean "as a way to torture myself") I pulled up the weight tracker and took at look at my progress roller coaster of weight loss and weight gain over the last year.

Here's the breakdown:
I am currently 10 pounds heavier than I was when I first began Weight Watchers last spring. (Gulp)
I lost about 14 pounds during my first go-round with WW last spring/summer. (Sigh)
Since my "low weight" last summer, I have GAINED a grand total of 32 pounds. (NOOOOOOOOOOO)

The numbers don't lie.  At a certain point, you can't ignore the cold hard truth.

I want to be different.  Honestly!  I want to be thinner (hell, I'd settle for "not so fat").  I want to enjoy going clothes shopping, or God forbid, being able to walk out of the shower without trying desperately to avoid looking at myself in the mirror!

Maybe this is a good thing.  Maybe I need to have these numbers in my head so that when I think about slacking off on my "make good choices" plan, I'll think twice.  Maybe with these figures bouncing around in my consciousness, I'll go those extra 10 minutes on the bike or treadmill, or really push through one more set with the weights.

Oh, how I want to be different.  *Sigh*

Selective Vision

Some people are lucky enough to have selective hearing - they hear only what they want, when they want to.  Is someone saying something unpleasant?  Tune them out!  Don't like the topic of conversation?  Feel free to ignore me!  I have a sneaking suspicion that these people lead quiet peaceful lives.  They might be missing key information, and pissing off their friends and family in the process, but hey, we all make sacrifices. 

I, in the interest of also leading a peaceful, blissfully ignorant life, have begun to hone my selective vision skills. 

Let me elaborate. 

Over the last year and a half or so (might be a little more or less), restaurants have begun listing the nutrition information next to items on a menu.  No, not a separate list of nutrition information (which I've been actively ignoring for years).  Instead, right next to the item on the actual menu, there is a delightful inclusion of calories for that item (and in some cases they feel the need to include fat, sodium, and carbohydrates). 

Talk about sucking the fun out of eating in restaurants!  What once was a source of excitement and pleasure has become an exercise in cleverly avoiding the strategically placed numbers next to my favorite menu items.

Now, rather than order my favorite foods with my mouth watering in anticipation, I feel like I should say "Hi, I'd like the Fiesta Lime Chicken with a side of cellulite", or "I'll try the Honey Crisp Chicken Salad with a cardiogram to follow."  Why can't I just order my food, eat the food, and worry about the caloric ramifications later?

Gone are the days of being able to go to a restaurant and enjoy your food without much consideration for the damage it was doing to your waistline.  Soon to be forgotten is the personal responsibility that we exercise in deciding whether or not to open the evil booklet containing nutrition information at a restaurant.

Is it a conspiracy to permanently destroy the enjoyment of eating in restaurants?  Are they out to get those of us who indulge in food prepared by others?

In any case, I will show them - I'll continue to work on my selective vision techniques, learning to, over time, to ignore those pesky little numbers (however high or low) and just enjoy my food!

Weigh In # 9

Another week has come and gone...again.

I've decided that I really need to embrace the whole "slow and steady wins the race" thing. 

I am not now, nor will I ever be one of those women who gets stressed out and loses weight.  I'll never be able to drop 10 pounds without really trying.  And, I'll probably never be what the American Medical Association suggests should be my "ideal weight".  That's just the reality of being me, and I accept that!

I didn't really do anything special this week.  I exercised, but not every day.  I made some good food choices, along with a few indulgences.  Basically, I'd give myself a B- for the week - I did ok, but I know I can do better.

So, you can imagine my lack of surprise when I reluctantly climbed onto the scale this morning, to find that I'd stayed the same.  No weight gain, but alas, no weight loss. 

I'll do better next week - I'm still down 8 pounds, and it's hard to complain about that!


All I can do is to keep trying to make the evil numbers on the scale keep moving in a downward direction. 

(Is it possible that the numbers on the scale are mocking me?  Cuz it seems like they are!)