2nd Start

I'm almost healed up completely.

What was once a huge gaping hole in my boob (graphic, and only slightly exaggerated) is now a bruised area surrounding 2 small scars. 

I'm slowly getting my energy back - though taking the dog for a 10 minute walk leaves me winded.

So, the time has come to evaluate when I'll be heading back to the gym, and by extension, Gym Guy's scrutiny.

If I'd been smart, I would have used this...involuntary down time...as an opportunity to rethink my eating habits, to load up on the fruits and vegetables, and to try to maintain my 10 pound weight loss that I was so ecstatic about a few weeks ago. 

But, alas, I am not smart.  I haven't used this time wisely.  I've eaten what I wanted, when I wanted.  And, while not entirely comprised of crap, my diet has been a far cry from healthy.  In fact, for a while I was eating very little, which I know is just as bad for me as eating junk.

Out of nothing more than mild curiosity, I weighed myself over the weekend. 

I've gained back a few pounds, but I'm still down more than 5 pounds from where I started.

Considering what the last month has been like for me - I'll take it!!!

It's just so depressing to think that when I return to the gym, I'll basically be starting over.  I have to get back into a routine, I have to build up my endurance again, and pretty much start from scratch with weights.  Maybe the second time around will be easier...right???

Now, to get back in the saddle...or rather...on the treadmill!

A Step Forward...A Step Back...Standing Still

Well, I've had quite an eventful few weeks. 

Forgive me for skipping the icky details (you'll thank me later)...but suffice it to say, life has taken a turn that I was not expecting or prepared for. 

Following our trip down south and my interrupted workout schedule, I was elated to discover last week that I am down 10 whole pounds from my starting weight!!! 

How I managed that, I'll never know for sure...but I'm sure it had nothing to do with the lack of exercise, eating out for 4 straight days, or sitting in a hotel room and riding in a car for hours on end. 

In any case, I was psyched!  As hubby pointed out..."never look a gift horse..." blah, blah, blah.  If only I knew what the magic touch was, you can bet your sweet bippy that I'd make damn sure to repeat it!!!  But, alas, it was a mystery - the results of which I was more than happy to enjoy!

Then, all hell broke loose...literally. 

Due to a certain medical ailment (again, I'll spare the details, but let me just say that breast cysts are absolutely no fun, especially when they decide to abscess and rupture!), I was informed last week that until further notice, I am to do absolutely no exercise...in addition to no lifting, no twisting, limited walking and bending...you get the idea.

Given my new circumstances, I had to muster the energy to head into the gym to break the news to "Gym Guy".  I wish I'd had an audience (or a camera) with me when I tried to explain my situation and ask that our gym membership be put on indefinite medical hold.  He looked like he was going to cry.  It was as if he couldn't wrap his head around the concept of not being allowed to exercise.  "Couldn't you just walk on the treadmill slowly?" he asked, his eyes hopeful.  "Um, I could barely stand to walk from the car into this building." I explained in the calmest "I will kick you in the balls if you try to question my surgeon again" voice.  Long story short, our account is on hold "until further notice".

So, after almost a full week of doing a whole lot of sitting, you can imagine my surprise when I weighed in again this morning to find that I am STILL down a whole 10 pounds!!!

I'm baffled. 

I've joked a few times with my mom, as she's lamented the fact that she can't seem to lose weight, that it took a major abdominal surgery and chemotherapy for her to lose any substantial amount of weight in recent years. 

Now, she's joking with me that perhaps I share that trait - only major medical procedures set of weight loss. 

That remains to be seen. 

All I can hope is that my healing continues and that before too long I can be back on track with working out (though I must say that I'll be slightly less motivated if this mysterious weight loss continues without me setting foot in the gym over the next several weeks).

It's Happening!

Finally!!!  After more than a month of busting my ass in the gym (almost) every day, it's finally happening...results!!!  I did a little mental math (and by mental math I mean counting on my fingers) and realized that I've been to the gym 29 of the last 36 days - go me!!! 

I'm literally going from home to work to the gym and back home every day - it's a tedious routine and I have practically no free time, but at least it's beginning to pay off!!!  Nothing major so far (I'm not exactly ready to go buy a new wardrobe, but at least it's something to keep me going! 

I'm hooking my bra on the smallest hook (which I wasn't a few weeks ago)...

My denim capri pants from last summer not only still fit, but are even slightly baggy...

And...the belt that goes on my capri pants is now being hooked on a smaller loop than it was when I wore the pants a few weeks ago...

Also...I've upped the weight on 3 of my machines at the gym...

Not to mention the fact that I've also added 10 minutes to my treadmill time (I'm up to 50 minutes).

I'll count this as progress!

My challenge now is how to maintain this momentum while I'm out of town on vacation over the next 10 days! 

Wouldn't it be fun to come back from vacation having lost even more weight!!!

I'm down 5 pounds...gotta keep it up!!!!

The Food Challenge

No, I'm not going to discuss a challenge that I'm giving myself when it comes to the food I eat...

I mean...I'm CHALLENGED by food!!!

I don't get it!!!

There was an article on Yahoo! today about the 10 "super foods" for weight loss.  In the article it listed certain foods (wild salmon, quinoa, lentils, sweet potatoes, etc.) that are "proven" to help with weight loss for one reason or another. 

This is where they lose me.  Don't just tell me that wild salmon is good because of the Omega-3 fatty acids (or whatever the hell it is that it has that's good)...help me to apply that information to my life!!!

Where does one purchase wild salmon?  Can it be frozen?  How am I to prepare it?  And what the hell is an omega-3 fatty acid???

You can't just tell me that if I want to be skinny I need to eat wild salmon and then leave me hanging!!!!!

I need to live in a world where there is a list of foods that will make me skinny, then another list that tells me the various ways to prepare all the foods that will make me skinny, and yet another list of more "skinny foods" to eat when I get sick of the foods on the first list!

Dare to dream!

On a slightly different "food challenge" note - I feel like I got caught with my hand in the cookie jar today! 

As it so happens, the gym is right next to our favorite pizza place.  I mean, literally right next door.  You could walk out of one, take 2 steps and walk right into the other!

While I was at the gym, working up quite a sweat, Ben called and ordered pizza, then sent me a text asking me to pick it up on my way home.

I didn't see the message until I was out in my car, so I sat there for a minute wondering if I could somehow manage to walk back towards the gym, get in and out of the pizza place, and back into my car with out "Gym Guy" seeing me.  I even considered whether I should drive my car and park a few rows over, to minimize my chances of being caught.

Yes, I'm pathetic.

Long story short - I went into the pizza place (which smelled delightful, by the way), paid for the pizza, wings, and 2 liter of Sierra Mist that Ben had ordered, and as I walked out the door, caught a glimpse of Gym Guy standing there watching me. 

Busted!!!

I didn't make eye contact, but I seriously felt like a kid trying to sneak an extra brownie after dinner, or a teenager getting caught coming in after curfew! 

I can't even begin to imagine what Gym Guy will have to say tomorrow!  At least I can tell him honestly that I only had 2 pieces of pizza!

4 Pounds

I'm a few weeks in to my new gym routine, and I'm still making progress!!!

I've been wary of weigh ins - for a few reasons...

If I haven't lost weight, I'm afraid that I'll lose my motivation and stop going to the gym and watching what I'm eating. 

Also...

If I have lost weight, I'm afraid that it will give me a false sense of security and I'll begin to slack a bit, either with the working out, or with the caloric intake.

You get the idea - weigh ins are tricky for me.

But, this morning, I gave myself a little pep talk, took a deep breath, and climbed onto the scale, praying that the progress I'd seen last week had continued.

Deep breaths...deep breaths...I slowly opened my eyes, peeked down, and saw that I'm now down 4 pounds from my starting weight!!!

4 pounds!!!

I'm on my way!!!

Deadline

Well, yesterday was my birthday...my stated deadline...the end of the road...

......or NOT! 

Yes, technically it was my birthday, and yes it was technically my deadline...but it's NOT the end of the road!

I've been on the workout bandwagon for almost 3 weeks now and I'm still going strong. 

I've lost 3.5 pounds and I'm hoping to start seeing some results before too long. 

Gym Guy was impressed with my progress today and with 3 trainer sessions in my back pocket (thanks for the birthday gift, mom) I'm determined to keep this up!

Even though I didn't make my deadline...I'm still going to do it...I'm going to lose those 50 pounds!!!

2 Weeks In

I joined the gym 2 weeks ago and I'm still on a roll. 

"Gym Guy" wanted me to commit to at least 4 days per week and was persistent to the point of annoyance with his constant "when are you coming back?" and "what time tomorrow will you be here?" - I'm guessing he took one look at me and thought "ok, fat girl, maybe if I ask for 4 days you'll give me at least 2". 

Haha Gym Guy - I've been doing 6 days per week!!!  Neener neener neener!!!

I'm still dripping with sweat by the end of my workouts, but they're getting a little easier each day.

Now comes the part where I get anxious to see results. 

I know that it will take time, but damn it, I want to look different now!!!

Not to mention the fact that I have to fly to Las Vegas and California in less than one month and I'm already stressing about whether I'll be able to fit in a seat on the plane.

Exactly how much weight can I expect to lose in a month?  Is it likely that all my weight loss over the next month could be confined to my rear end?

My mind is full of terrible scenarios wherein I'm asked to purchase a second seat to accommodate my ass or I manage to wedge myself into my seat but need the jaws of life to get me out at the end of the flight.

I want to be able to board a plane (for the first time in several years) without feeling like I'm "that girl" that everyone is secretly praying that they're not seated next to.  I want to be able to fly cross country without having bruises on my hips from squeezing myself between the arm rests.  I want to not ponder whether I can afford to triple my travel budget to purchase a first class seat, because I'm fairly confident that I'd have wiggle room in one of those!!! 

In any case, I'm sure I'll be stressing that one until my ass (and the rest of me) is safely on board and settled (comfortably, I hope) into one seat. 

For now, I'm just going to keep plugging along, waiting for the day when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror at the gym and don't want to run screaming for a tiny dark room with no reflective surfaces!!!