Weigh In # 11 (late)

Yes, I realize I'm a day late in weighing in.  Actually, I did weigh myself yesterday, so technically I'm just late in posting the results. 

It's been a difficult week - my last at my current job - and incredibly emotional. 

Anyone who has read my blog (or met me) knows that I'm an admitted emotional eater.  Given this week's stress, emotions, and hormones from hell, (and did I mention stress?) it's a wonder that I haven't gained back all 9 pounds that I've lost so far! 

Long story short, I maintained my weight for another week.  I didn't work out as much as I should have (long gone are the daily workouts that I was so proud of in the beginning of my little endeavor), nor did I make the smartest of food choices.

I didn't do my best, but at least (after admitting that) I can move ahead this week with motivation to do better.  I can be secure in the fact that I'm about to be a busy little bee, as we prepare for our move next weekend.  Also, in addition to walking at the park and riding my stationary bike while watching tv, I'm sure to get a workout by packing up and loading an endless array of boxes and household items into a rather large moving truck over the next several days.

Not a loss, but anything's better than gaining it all back!

P.S.  I spent 30 minutes on the bike this evening!

A New Trend

Ok, I know that only a few days ago I was talking about needing to stay away from the weight loss articles that seem to pop up every 5 minutes on the internet and in magazines. 

Well, that was until I saw an article on Yahoo about a new trend in diet foods - larger portions for less calories.

Hello!

Needless to say, it caught my eye and I was compelled to read on.  

Typically any kind of diet food is based on small portions and food that (if you're lucky) tastes vaguely like what it's advertised to be. 

Apparently now, a company called Arctic Zero has an "ice cream" (I put it in quotes because that's what they did in the article - red flag!) that is only 150 calories for an entire pint!

Again, hello!

Now, it boasts all kinds of key words and catch phrases that those of us battling our bodies look for (and dream about) when we try to eat healthy.  "All Natural", "Gluten Free", "Fat Free", "Whey Protein" - you get the idea.  

So, I'm wondering if it's worth a try, or if it will end up being like other diet foods that taste vaguely like they're supposed to.

I know I'm not alone in my battle, not only against my body in general, but against portion sizes.  Everywhere I go, I'm faced with double or triple the amount of food that I need, but I go ahead and see how much of it I can gorge myself on before I explode.

Portion control, you are my nemesis!

Anyway, back to the issue at hand - getting to eat an entire pint of ice cream (as if I need to) without the guilt (or calories) that come from scarfing down a pint of Ben & Jerry's!  It looks like you can order it from Amazon, though I don't know how I feel about having ice cream shipped to me - might be a gooey mess by the time it arrives.

The website is www.myarcticzero.com.

I'm wondering if anyone else has heard of this, tried it, or knows more about it than I do!

I'm tempted!!!!

Articles Don't Help!

Lead story on Yahoo today - "20 Habits Making You Fat".

Really???

That's just what I need - a list of "fat behaviors" to read through.  One of two things happen when I read these evil "lets get healthy, it's easy" articles.  1.)  I think to myself "I do that, I do that too, oh no, I've done this to myself" or 2.)  I read the article only to say "This isn't me, I don't do any of those things".

Either I come away from those articles convinced that my weight problem is of my own doing and that I'm a medley of unhealthy behaviors, or convinced beyond a reasonable doubt that the article has nothing to do with me, and I'm even more confused and frustrated about my weight than I was to begin with - after all, if I don't do the "fat behaviors", I shouldn't be fat, right???

Long story short, I need to stay away from those articles!  I know what unhealthy behaviors are, and I'm pretty sure, using my deductive reasoning skills, that I can figure out what healthier alternatives would be. 

Eat more fruits and vegetables.  Don't choose white bread.  Drink lots of water.  Exercise.  Portion control.

Duh!

These articles make it sound like if you cut out the "fat behaviors" you won't be fat anymore.  Oh, if only that were true, I'd weigh 90 pounds and be on a feeding tube!

*Sigh*

Weigh In # 10

I want for my scale to have sound effects.  I think it would be great to have a voice congratulating me when I've lost weight, though, on the other hand, I'd probably be flung head first into a full-on emotional breakdown if I was greeted with a mocking voice telling me that I'd gained weight.

Either way, I think it could work. 

This morning, for example, I would have loved to her a little congratulatory music or some pre-recorded crowds cheering when I stepped on the scale to find that I'd lost another pound!

You heard it right, folks - 9 pounds down!!!!!

Of course, my scale seems to be a little schizophrenic.  I know that depending on what time of day you weigh yourself, you get a different result.  Well, my scale seems to be taking this to the next level, and is in all likelihood, messing with me!

I weighed myself when I woke up.  I didn't like what I saw, so I decided to wait and weigh myself a little later.  About 2 hours later, I hopped on the scale again, and almost fainted when the number had gone up a pound (no bueno)!!!!  So, I went about my morning, showered, got dressed, and just as an afterthought decided to give the scale one more chance to make me happy (or at least not curl up in the corner sucking my thumb).  This time, thankfully, it showed that I'd lost weight.  Good thing, because I was about 10 seconds from chucking the darn thing through a window!

Anyway, apparently on my weigh in days I need to give the scale a couple of chances to get it right.  Of course, my definition of "getting it right" is showing that I've lost weight =)

For this week, I'm calling it a solid win!  One pound down, which I really needed, and only 41 more to go!!!!

Numbers Don't Lie

As much as I'd love to go on denying it, I'm overweight.  Actually, I'm sure by any standard BMI definition, I'm probably obese.  Lovely!  I can feel my self esteem beginning to soar...oh, no, wait...there it goes...crashing back down to earth where it belongs!

Fortunately for me, (knock on wood), I don't have any weight related medical problems.  I'm sure a physician could look at me and start spouting off the things that I'm more likely to develop than someone who weighs 120 lbs, but at least at this point, I haven't had to deal with high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, or the multitude of other delightful ailments linked to obesity.

Unfortunately, that doesn't keep me from feeling unhealthy, knowing that those darn numbers on the scale are way too high, wanting to be different, and feeling like I'm stuck in a deep hole with no hope of being able to climb out.

I had a (much needed) hard dose of reality a few days ago.  I finally went online to cancel (yet again) my Weight Watchers membership.  *Side note - I haven't been using it, and seeing as we're in money-saving-mode right now, I feel like the monthly membership fee can be better spent on something a little more important.*  So, just for fun (and by "fun" I mean "as a way to torture myself") I pulled up the weight tracker and took at look at my progress roller coaster of weight loss and weight gain over the last year.

Here's the breakdown:
I am currently 10 pounds heavier than I was when I first began Weight Watchers last spring. (Gulp)
I lost about 14 pounds during my first go-round with WW last spring/summer. (Sigh)
Since my "low weight" last summer, I have GAINED a grand total of 32 pounds. (NOOOOOOOOOOO)

The numbers don't lie.  At a certain point, you can't ignore the cold hard truth.

I want to be different.  Honestly!  I want to be thinner (hell, I'd settle for "not so fat").  I want to enjoy going clothes shopping, or God forbid, being able to walk out of the shower without trying desperately to avoid looking at myself in the mirror!

Maybe this is a good thing.  Maybe I need to have these numbers in my head so that when I think about slacking off on my "make good choices" plan, I'll think twice.  Maybe with these figures bouncing around in my consciousness, I'll go those extra 10 minutes on the bike or treadmill, or really push through one more set with the weights.

Oh, how I want to be different.  *Sigh*

Selective Vision

Some people are lucky enough to have selective hearing - they hear only what they want, when they want to.  Is someone saying something unpleasant?  Tune them out!  Don't like the topic of conversation?  Feel free to ignore me!  I have a sneaking suspicion that these people lead quiet peaceful lives.  They might be missing key information, and pissing off their friends and family in the process, but hey, we all make sacrifices. 

I, in the interest of also leading a peaceful, blissfully ignorant life, have begun to hone my selective vision skills. 

Let me elaborate. 

Over the last year and a half or so (might be a little more or less), restaurants have begun listing the nutrition information next to items on a menu.  No, not a separate list of nutrition information (which I've been actively ignoring for years).  Instead, right next to the item on the actual menu, there is a delightful inclusion of calories for that item (and in some cases they feel the need to include fat, sodium, and carbohydrates). 

Talk about sucking the fun out of eating in restaurants!  What once was a source of excitement and pleasure has become an exercise in cleverly avoiding the strategically placed numbers next to my favorite menu items.

Now, rather than order my favorite foods with my mouth watering in anticipation, I feel like I should say "Hi, I'd like the Fiesta Lime Chicken with a side of cellulite", or "I'll try the Honey Crisp Chicken Salad with a cardiogram to follow."  Why can't I just order my food, eat the food, and worry about the caloric ramifications later?

Gone are the days of being able to go to a restaurant and enjoy your food without much consideration for the damage it was doing to your waistline.  Soon to be forgotten is the personal responsibility that we exercise in deciding whether or not to open the evil booklet containing nutrition information at a restaurant.

Is it a conspiracy to permanently destroy the enjoyment of eating in restaurants?  Are they out to get those of us who indulge in food prepared by others?

In any case, I will show them - I'll continue to work on my selective vision techniques, learning to, over time, to ignore those pesky little numbers (however high or low) and just enjoy my food!

Weigh In # 9

Another week has come and gone...again.

I've decided that I really need to embrace the whole "slow and steady wins the race" thing. 

I am not now, nor will I ever be one of those women who gets stressed out and loses weight.  I'll never be able to drop 10 pounds without really trying.  And, I'll probably never be what the American Medical Association suggests should be my "ideal weight".  That's just the reality of being me, and I accept that!

I didn't really do anything special this week.  I exercised, but not every day.  I made some good food choices, along with a few indulgences.  Basically, I'd give myself a B- for the week - I did ok, but I know I can do better.

So, you can imagine my lack of surprise when I reluctantly climbed onto the scale this morning, to find that I'd stayed the same.  No weight gain, but alas, no weight loss. 

I'll do better next week - I'm still down 8 pounds, and it's hard to complain about that!


All I can do is to keep trying to make the evil numbers on the scale keep moving in a downward direction. 

(Is it possible that the numbers on the scale are mocking me?  Cuz it seems like they are!)

A Mermaid Or A Whale?

Every few days, I can expect to see a few random "forwarded" emails from a few of my friends.  Some are funny, some I forward on, and some I read and delete without a second thought.

Today, one of my friends sent me one that not only had me laughing, but also rang so true that I decided to forward it on, and am now blogging about it. 

It was titled "Do You Want to Be a Mermaid or a Whale?"

At first I thought "what the heck has she sent me now???", and reluctantly opened it, with my quivering finger already hovering over the delete button.  As I began to read, my finger settled, and I began to appreciate the words as they unfolded before me. 

Apparently, at a gym in Australia, a summer promotional poster could be seen in a window, displaying a young, thin, tan woman with the caption "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"  A middle-aged woman (looking nothing like the woman on the poster) wrote a letter, answering the question posed by the gym. 

She discussed the fact that whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans).  Whales have an active sex life, give birth to adorable baby whales, and get to play and swim in exotic seas around the world.  Whales are beautiful singers with virtually no predators (besides humans), and are loved, protected and admired by people around the world.

Mermaids, on the other hand, do not exist.  If they did exist, they would suffer from a chronic identity crisis - fish or human?  They don't have a sex life, because, well, where would anything go?  If they don't have a sex life, then they don't have children.  Additionally, they probably aren't too popular, because who wants to hang out with someone that smells like fish.

I realized, after reading this email, that she was absolutely right.  I'd rather enjoy having some ice cream on a hot summer evening, or enjoy a nice dinner without worrying about how many calories I'm consuming.  I'd rather have an active sex life and cute little whale babies.  I'd rather sing and be surrounded by friends (especially if the alternative is being alone because I smell like fish). 

Yes, all things in moderation, but in general, whales live a fuller, happier life, so I consider myself lucky to be a whale!

And Here We Go!

Thus begins another week - another Monday is here, another fresh start, another weigh in to look forward to. 

After a disastrous fall off the wagon last week, I feel like I'm ready to go again. 

I'm back to work, which means that I was back on my old friend, the treadmill, this morning, after a several day absence.  Sure, I swam, and I walked at the park, but somehow the treadmill just feels more productive!

Now that I'm on a set schedule once again, hopefully I'll continue to see results. 

I'm now thinking in terms of "what's next".  I have 3 weeks left of work before Ben and I make our big move to Ohio.  So, I'd like to use that as my "light at the end of the tunnel".  What can I get accomplished in 3 weeks?  Can I stay on track?  Can I go into this move with new found motivation and manage to stay on track during our journey across the country? 

Let's hope so!

I'll worry about the move (and how to keep up with good food choices and exercise) in a few weeks.  For now, I'm focused on the next 3 weeks, staying on track, and seeing more progress!

Weigh In # 8

I'm 2 months in to my attempts at weight loss.  No plan, no diets, just paying attention, making smart choices (and not a few not-so-smart choices), and trying to exercise on a regular basis. 

After a week that threw me for a bit of a loop, I stepped on the scale this morning, not sure of what to expect. 

Fortunately, despite having fallen off the wagon a bit, I am down another pound!  I'm sure that this is, in part, due to the fact that I was sweating profusely for the first half of the week (as no AC will do to you), and spent some considerable time in the pool swimming and paddling around.

So, week #8, and I'm down a total of 8 pounds!!!

Things are on track, and once I'm back in work mode (after a week off), I expect that I'll continue to make progress.

Fingers crossed for continued weight loss in the coming weeks!

Another Glitch

I toyed, this week, with changing things up a bit.  Now that the week is almost done, I'm glad I didn't.  It obviously wasn't meant to be.

Anyone who follows my other blog "Making Lemonade", knows that we've been without air conditioning in our house since Sunday.

I have tried to spend as little time as possible at home, but along with that comes a need for portable food options.  It's hard to cart around containers of fruit and vegetables when you're going to be away from the house for hours on end.  The diet would have suffered, and I, in turn, would have come out on the other end completely frustrated (not to mention hungry).  So, it's probably best that I opted to cut my diet a bit short, and tried to stick with a good portion of fruits and veggies (which I did), while continuing with my normal activities.

I might have allowed myself some fast food for lunch, but that's only because they had air conditioning.  Yes, I might have also indulged in some ice cream, but it was for survival purposes only!  I won't say I didn't enjoy it, because anyone who knows me would know that it's a total lie.
My exercising has also suffered this week.  Something about getting hot and sweaty (or hotter and sweatier) and then coming home to a house that welcomes you with a blast of hot, stagnant air (rather than a burst of cool, refreshing air), and taking a cold shower to only begin sweating as soon as you dry off, just isn't appealing!  I was wiped out, and quite frankly, the last thing in the world I wanted to do was go and work out - it just wasn't in the cards!

So, needless to say, I strayed a bit from my plan this week.

Not to worry, considering the amount of sweat I created in the last 4 days, I'd say I've probably lost a couple pounds in water weight alone! 

I feel confident, however, that now that our AC is up and running, and life is about to resume it's normal chaotic rhythm, that I'll be able to pick up where I left off, and keep right on trucking down this weight loss road.

I'm feeling a bit anxious about tomorrow's weigh in, but hey, that's all part of the process, right?

On Second Thought...

Yesterday was Day 1 of the GM Diet.  I was to eat nothing but fruit, all day. 

I spent a good portion of the day reflecting on my decision to do this week long diet in an attempt to jump start my weight loss. 

It occurred to me that when I first set out to lose 50 pounds in 50 weeks, this is EXACTLY what I said I wasn't going to do.  I wasn't going to embrace a "gimmicky" weight loss plan, or exercise routine.  I was simply going to be conscious of my food choices and portions, exercise on a regular basis, and see what progress I could make.

So, yesterday, I was half motivated to continue with the GM Diet, but at the same time feeling guilty about looking for a "quick fix" instead of my previous attempt at "slow and steady wins the race".

I talked to Ben (who couldn't go 5 minutes without salivating over "actual food") yesterday evening, shared my concerns, and we decided that rather than moving ahead with the GM Diet that we would, instead, use it as a guideline for a healthier menu, but still allow ourselves the "actual food" that we were both so hungry for.

Last night, after eating nothing but fruit all day, Ben went to the store and got beef and vegetable kabobs to cook on the grill.  We didn't add our usual rice or pasta side dish - we just had the kabobs and some more fruit.

As we move forward this week, we will continue to enjoy the fruits and vegetables that filled up our shopping cart at the store on Saturday, but we will also make healthy food choices beyond that.

I feel like I'm back on track (not that I was ever off track), and ready to continue with my earlier plan of eating smart, and keeping up with my exercise. 

No gimmicks here!  Just me vs. the scale!

Shaking Things Up

Today, I begin a week long venture to really shake things up along my weight loss journey. 

First, let me just say, Ben is the best husband ever - he is playing along with me during this week's experiment, so that I don't have to do it alone. 

We are doing the GM Diet.  In case you haven't heard of it (which I hadn't until Friday night), it was created for employees at General Motors through a grant from the FDA, and research done at Johns Hopkins.  It is 7 days long and involves eating different foods each day (fruits, veggies, protein, etc.) and drinking basically nothing but water.

Since I was thinking that I needed to "shake things up" a bit, I did quite a bit of research, looking into detox and cleansing options, and happened across this.  I have a week of (at home) vacation ahead of me, so now is as good a time as any to give something new a try. 

Today, Day 1, we are eating nothing but fruit.  Any fruit, as much as we want (except bananas), all day.


Day 2 is the vegetable day.  After we begin with a baked potato for breakfast (yum), we eat nothing but veggies all day. 

Day 3 is the best of both worlds - fruits and veggies (no bananas, no potato for breakfast).

Day 4 will be interesting - we are to eat bananas, milk, and a vegetable soup that we will make ourselves.

Day 5 will likely feel like a feast - we can eat lean beef (20 oz) and tomatoes!

Day 6 we can eat unlimited lean beef and vegetables

Day 7 we can eat unlimited brown rice, fruit juice and veggies

And so, the journey begins.  Considering it is about 100 degrees outside, eating cool sweet watermelon, apple slices, cantaloupe, pineapple, and grapes all day isn't going to be much of a hardship. 

I have no idea how the rest of the 7 days will go, but hopefully this will be just the jump start I need to "reset my body's computer" and move ahead with my weight loss!

Weigh In # 7

Once again, a certain time of the month has thrust me head first into a week of food cravings, bloating, water retention, and crampy misery.  While I did indulge in (just a few) food cravings, I stuck with my exercise routine, and even changed it up a bit this week. 

So, this morning, when I stepped onto the scale, I was (once again) pleased to find that the number had not gone up since last week.

Thus far, on week 7, I am officially down 7 pounds!

I talked a few days ago about feeling like I need a jump start.  I still feel this way.  I don't want to lose my motivation, since I am continuing to make progress (however slow), but I do want to shake things up a bit.

As of this evening, I am officially on vacation for a week.  Since I'm not going anywhere, I think that this is a perfect opportunity to implement a "jump start" program - given that I won't be bogged down with the daily routine that comes with taking care of kids!  I'm lucky if I can get in 3 meals a day while I'm working, so hopefully during my time off, I can truly give this whole "eat 5 small meals per day" thing a try. 

Along these same lines, I will attempt to change what I've been eating.  This weekend I will hit the grocery store (trying hard to avoid the cookout and s'mores fixin's that the stores have on display leading up to the 4th) and stock up on fresh fruits, vegetables, nuts, and some lean proteins for dinner.  We'll see how it goes - but I do know that if I don't have healthy foods on hand, I'll raid the pantry and dig out all the unhealthy crap that lives there.

I'm also planning on adding to my exercise routine.  I've begun spending time on the stationary bike that I bought for myself a few years ago (but hasn't gotten used as much as I thought it would).  It's been nice to change up the cardio a little bit - I'm amazed that I seem to burn more calories (according to the little gauge on the bike) than I do when I'm on the treadmill.  In any case, I'll continue to alternate the bike, the treadmill, walking at the park, and swimming laps in the pool - possibly even 2 in the same day!

So, here we go - into week 8...wish me luck!