A number of factors led to my decision to spend last weekend shopping for new clothes.
1.) New job = Need for work-appropriate wardrobe (which I did not have)
2.) I purged my wardrobe in California before we moved, including the one pair of jeans that fit (I figured since they had holes in them, I could try a little harder)
3.) Given the fact that I haven't lived in Northeast Ohio for over 4 years, I realized that my "California wardrobe" was not going to cut it in the cooler (ok, frigid) temperatures that Ohio brings in the fall and winter months
4.) I'm 30 years old...I should start dressing like a grown up, not a kid in college (enter my traditional sweatshirt, jeans and flip flops wardrobe)
So, given all of this, it seemed appropriate to spend a little money (and when I say "a little money", I mean "more money than I've ever spent on clothes before") and invest in some upgrades.
I've never claimed to be a fashionista - in fact, I'm usually hard pressed to put a decent outfit together if I haven't first seen it on a mannequin or in a magazine. Sure, I see outfits on other people that I like (and usually a lot that I don't like), but I was not blessed with the gene that allows me to replicate it! And even if I could create a decent looking outfit, odds are I'd talk myself out of trying it on, for fear that it wouldn't fit.
So, there I was in Avenue (a store specifically geared towards those of us who lean towards the plus size end of the spectrum), trying desperately to break out of my long sleeved t-shirt and bootcut jeans funk.
Ben, being the saint that he is, dutifully walked through the store as I went through my usual recital of "I couldn't wear something like that", "No, that's not my style", "Look how expensive this is!", and "Ugh, I'm never going to find anything, let's just go home."
He was patient, attentive, and gently encouraging as I slowly loaded my arms with my new "breakout" wardrobe.
He sat silently as I trudged into the fitting room to begin what I was sure would be an embarrassing exercise in how chubby girls shouldn't wear certain things.
As I slowly made my way through the pile of clothes that I'd selected to try on, we both became more and more encouraged. I was actually finding things that I liked!
Jeans that fit - CHECK!
A cute tie-in-front sweater - CHECK!
A pair of semi-dress pants for work - CHECK!
I started to panic a bit when I got to the skinny jeans and leggings, that I'd agreed to try on, but was positive would look ridiculous on me. I try desperately to hide the shape of my legs (is lumpy even a shape?), so the idea of accentuating them felt a little strange. But, there I was, humoring my husband by trying on an outfit that I would have NEVER had the courage to try on my own.
Now, I know that the people who work in these stores are paid to tell you how fabulous you look, but when I came out of the dressing room wearing a tunic sweater, leggings, and knee-high boots (and feeling seriously self-conscious), they began to swarm. Literally, they stopped their conversations to come get a closer look at me in my new "Oh, I'm so self-conscious, I don't know that I'll ever wear this" outfit.
The only opinion I was really interested in in was Ben's - I knew he'd tell me honestly if I looked ridiculous. As it turns out, he didn't need to speak for me to know what he thought of my new look. I've honestly never felt better about myself than I did when I saw the look on Ben's face. His eyes lit up as he slowly looked me over from head to toe and tried to hide his enthusiasm as I worked through my insecurities.
Long story short, shopping is a nightmare, and being plus sized and shopping is flat out torture! But, when you have a patient husband, a willing spirit, and a credit score good enough to qualify you for the store credit card (thus granting you additional discounts on your purchase), it's worth the hassle to come away with some wardrobe pieces that actually fit properly and make you look like you're capable of more than rolling out of bed and falling into whatever clothes happen to be close by!
I came away with my first pair of skinny jeans, leggings, and knee-high boots - now I just need to work up the guts to wear all of it out in public!
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Post PMS Weigh In
After my last post about battling the monthly evils of PMS, I was a little concerned. While I think it's time that I embrace a guilt-free time of the month, I don't want for it to be ok that I pig out whenever I want to!
Unfortunately, since I started my new job yesterday (yay), I forgot to weigh in. So, I had to jump on the scale this morning to see what kind of damage the box of Cheez-Its had done.
Amazingly, I have not gained weight! Of course, I didn't lose weight either, but considering what my week was like, I'm perfectly happy with maintaining!
My hope is that as I settle into a new routine with my job, I'll be able to find a set time to workout.
Whether it happens in the morning before I leave, or in the evenings after dinner, I am determined to continue with my bike.
On that note, I worked out on the bike again this morning. 10 miles seems to be my new favorite distance. I've realized that there is a bit of a discrepancy in how fast I get there, but I work best with a goal in mind, so I figure as long as I get to 10 miles (around the 30 minute mark), I'm good to go!
Unfortunately, since I started my new job yesterday (yay), I forgot to weigh in. So, I had to jump on the scale this morning to see what kind of damage the box of Cheez-Its had done.
Amazingly, I have not gained weight! Of course, I didn't lose weight either, but considering what my week was like, I'm perfectly happy with maintaining!
My hope is that as I settle into a new routine with my job, I'll be able to find a set time to workout.
Whether it happens in the morning before I leave, or in the evenings after dinner, I am determined to continue with my bike.
On that note, I worked out on the bike again this morning. 10 miles seems to be my new favorite distance. I've realized that there is a bit of a discrepancy in how fast I get there, but I work best with a goal in mind, so I figure as long as I get to 10 miles (around the 30 minute mark), I'm good to go!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
PMS
Is it wrong that I've managed to eat an entire box of Cheez-Its in less than a week?
Is it wrong that as I sit here sucking up the last of the crumbs I'm wondering what else we have hiding in the kitchen?
Is it wrong that I don't find fault in blaming my once monthly eating binge on PMS?
If doing these things is wrong, then I don't want to be right.
I try to eat healthy, I exercise, I order salads in restaurants, hell, I even dip my fork in salad dressing (as opposed to dumping the entire container onto that crisp bed of lettuce) so as not to consume extra calories!
So, shouldn't that entitle me to a few days of guilt-free eating of the foods that only the evils of PMS can drive me to?
I think so!
Yes, I'm sure there are healthy alternatives, ways to ward off the onset of PMS...but when a craving for something salty hits, there are not enough good intentions in the world to hold me back from the refrigerator!
I know I'm weighing in tomorrow, and I'm already anticipating the bloating, water retention, and consequences of eating the box of Cheez-Its to catch up with me.
It's fine...I'll do better next week. But for now...somebody hook me up with some ice cream!!!
Is it wrong that as I sit here sucking up the last of the crumbs I'm wondering what else we have hiding in the kitchen?
Is it wrong that I don't find fault in blaming my once monthly eating binge on PMS?
If doing these things is wrong, then I don't want to be right.
I try to eat healthy, I exercise, I order salads in restaurants, hell, I even dip my fork in salad dressing (as opposed to dumping the entire container onto that crisp bed of lettuce) so as not to consume extra calories!
So, shouldn't that entitle me to a few days of guilt-free eating of the foods that only the evils of PMS can drive me to?
I think so!
Yes, I'm sure there are healthy alternatives, ways to ward off the onset of PMS...but when a craving for something salty hits, there are not enough good intentions in the world to hold me back from the refrigerator!
I know I'm weighing in tomorrow, and I'm already anticipating the bloating, water retention, and consequences of eating the box of Cheez-Its to catch up with me.
It's fine...I'll do better next week. But for now...somebody hook me up with some ice cream!!!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Side Effects
We've established that I love my stationary bike. Yes, it was the best $200 (or however much it cost me) I've ever spent!
Unfortunately, the side effects of pedaling to my heart's content are catching up with me.
This morning, for example, I hit my all-time personal best. 30 minutes, 10 miles, and burned just over 600 calories - YES!!!!
So, here I sit, an hour later...I've finally stopped sweating (literally, in the last 10 minutes or so), but my booty region (read into that what you want) is still numb, which I know will be followed by full on soreness later today. My legs have finally stopped twitching (a symptom of exercise that I could certainly do without), but until I shower, my formerly sweaty bangs will be plastered to my forehead, no matter what I do to them.
Wouldn't it be great to do a workout and have the benefits of feeling good afterwards (which I love), without the hassle of boob sweat, red tomato face, twitching legs, and sore tushy for the rest of the day?
Oh, if only!
However, at this point, the pros far outweigh the cons, so bring on the twitching, quivering, numb, sore, sweaty, red-faced version of me - as long as all that means that the pounds keep coming off!
Unfortunately, the side effects of pedaling to my heart's content are catching up with me.
This morning, for example, I hit my all-time personal best. 30 minutes, 10 miles, and burned just over 600 calories - YES!!!!
So, here I sit, an hour later...I've finally stopped sweating (literally, in the last 10 minutes or so), but my booty region (read into that what you want) is still numb, which I know will be followed by full on soreness later today. My legs have finally stopped twitching (a symptom of exercise that I could certainly do without), but until I shower, my formerly sweaty bangs will be plastered to my forehead, no matter what I do to them.
Wouldn't it be great to do a workout and have the benefits of feeling good afterwards (which I love), without the hassle of boob sweat, red tomato face, twitching legs, and sore tushy for the rest of the day?
Oh, if only!
However, at this point, the pros far outweigh the cons, so bring on the twitching, quivering, numb, sore, sweaty, red-faced version of me - as long as all that means that the pounds keep coming off!
Friday, September 16, 2011
Another Weigh In
I was mentally prepared for my weigh in this morning. I was resigned to the fact that the number on the scale might have gone up instead of down (again), and I was willing to accept the inevitable without digging a hole, or curling up in the corner to cry.
But...I wasn't prepared for this.
I am officially back to my "low weight" before we moved!!!!!
I couldn't believe it!
I was so surprised, I stepped off and stepped right back on, just to make sure that the scale wasn't malfunctioning, or playing a cruel joke on me.
But, that magical number kept staring right back at me.
Eureka!!!!
Talk about great motivation!
I have no idea why this week was so different from last week and I have no idea what I did differently.
I only know that I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing and hope that those pesky numbers keep going down!
But...I wasn't prepared for this.
I am officially back to my "low weight" before we moved!!!!!
I couldn't believe it!
I was so surprised, I stepped off and stepped right back on, just to make sure that the scale wasn't malfunctioning, or playing a cruel joke on me.
But, that magical number kept staring right back at me.
Eureka!!!!
Talk about great motivation!
I have no idea why this week was so different from last week and I have no idea what I did differently.
I only know that I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing and hope that those pesky numbers keep going down!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
I Heart My Bike!
Ever since we left California (and the treadmill conveniently situated in front of the tv), I've been concerned about getting back into an exercise routine.
I was on such a kick there for a while, working out every day, really paying attention to what I was eating...and then we moved. The routine changed, and I lost my motivation.
Yes, we've been forced to walk the dog, rather than open the sliding door and let her run around in the backyard. But, for whatever reason, despite the 20 miles of walking trails that we have behind our apartment, I don't feel like I get a very good workout simply walking the dog.
Also, and I realize this is a bit of a waste, I still have not paid a visit to our apartment complex's workout room. Perhaps I was traumatized by the fitness center in my last apartment (where I found dog crap in the corner and some mystery goo that kept making the treadmill stick), or maybe I'm just incredibly lazy. Whatever the explanation, I'm just not feeling it.
Because of all this, I have a new appreciation for my stationary bike.
I love it!
First, and this shows what kind of a lazy bum I really am, I love that I get to sit down while I pedal along. Yes, my tushy is numb after about 5 minutes, but somehow the sitting down part overrides the part of my brain that recognizes what I'm doing as exercise, and that makes me happy.
Second, I find that I can increase my speed with relative ease (as opposed to increasing the speed on the treadmill, which makes me feel like I'm going to die).
Third, it seems like I get better results on my bike. As I plug away on the treadmill, it seems to take forever for the little red lights to complete a full "lap" on the digital track, and by the end, even though I'm sweating like a pig, panting like a dog, and have a face that very closely resembles a tomato, I have only burned 45 calories. On the bike, I zip along, rapidly pedaling away mile after mile, and by the end of my "journey", I can click through all the options telling me how far I went, what my average speed was, and most importantly, how many calories I burned.
Today, for example, I was on the bike for about 30 minutes. I rode almost 9 miles, and burned 500 calories - yes!
It's this sense of satisfaction that will inspire me to lug the bike out of the spare bedroom on a daily basis, park my booty in front of the tv, and pedal away hundreds of calories at a time.
I heart my bike!!!
I was on such a kick there for a while, working out every day, really paying attention to what I was eating...and then we moved. The routine changed, and I lost my motivation.
Yes, we've been forced to walk the dog, rather than open the sliding door and let her run around in the backyard. But, for whatever reason, despite the 20 miles of walking trails that we have behind our apartment, I don't feel like I get a very good workout simply walking the dog.
Also, and I realize this is a bit of a waste, I still have not paid a visit to our apartment complex's workout room. Perhaps I was traumatized by the fitness center in my last apartment (where I found dog crap in the corner and some mystery goo that kept making the treadmill stick), or maybe I'm just incredibly lazy. Whatever the explanation, I'm just not feeling it.
Because of all this, I have a new appreciation for my stationary bike.
I love it!
First, and this shows what kind of a lazy bum I really am, I love that I get to sit down while I pedal along. Yes, my tushy is numb after about 5 minutes, but somehow the sitting down part overrides the part of my brain that recognizes what I'm doing as exercise, and that makes me happy.
Second, I find that I can increase my speed with relative ease (as opposed to increasing the speed on the treadmill, which makes me feel like I'm going to die).
Third, it seems like I get better results on my bike. As I plug away on the treadmill, it seems to take forever for the little red lights to complete a full "lap" on the digital track, and by the end, even though I'm sweating like a pig, panting like a dog, and have a face that very closely resembles a tomato, I have only burned 45 calories. On the bike, I zip along, rapidly pedaling away mile after mile, and by the end of my "journey", I can click through all the options telling me how far I went, what my average speed was, and most importantly, how many calories I burned.
Today, for example, I was on the bike for about 30 minutes. I rode almost 9 miles, and burned 500 calories - yes!
It's this sense of satisfaction that will inspire me to lug the bike out of the spare bedroom on a daily basis, park my booty in front of the tv, and pedal away hundreds of calories at a time.
I heart my bike!!!
Friday, September 9, 2011
Weighing In...
I'm beginning to dread Fridays. This is a shame, because Fridays are supposed to be fun!
This morning, I was shocked (yes, shocked) to discover that I've gained 3.5 pounds. That's right - I'm 3.5 pounds heavier this Friday than I was last Friday.
Um...WHAT?!?!?!?!?!
How does that happen? Nothing has changed, I've been eating the same, exercising more (if not the same amount) - what is my body doing to me???
Is it stress? The stress of having only one income? The stress of having to job hunt? The stress about not hearing back on jobs that I've applied for? Stress over what my next step should be?
Why can't I be one of those people who gets stressed and loses weight? Seriously, I'd be on a feeding tube if I lost weight every time I got stressed.
But, alas, that is not how my body works - as soon as I feel even a teensy touch of stress, it's like my brain sends out signals to hold onto the fat for dear life!
Anyway, either I need to reprogram my body to handle stress in the exact opposite way, or I need to minimize my stress - I'm honestly not sure which method seems more feasible!
Last night, I did the stationary bike for 25 minutes, went 7 miles and burned 400 calories - I'm going to stick with it, and hopefully undo the damage that all this stress has done!
This morning, I was shocked (yes, shocked) to discover that I've gained 3.5 pounds. That's right - I'm 3.5 pounds heavier this Friday than I was last Friday.
Um...WHAT?!?!?!?!?!
How does that happen? Nothing has changed, I've been eating the same, exercising more (if not the same amount) - what is my body doing to me???
Is it stress? The stress of having only one income? The stress of having to job hunt? The stress about not hearing back on jobs that I've applied for? Stress over what my next step should be?
Why can't I be one of those people who gets stressed and loses weight? Seriously, I'd be on a feeding tube if I lost weight every time I got stressed.
But, alas, that is not how my body works - as soon as I feel even a teensy touch of stress, it's like my brain sends out signals to hold onto the fat for dear life!
Anyway, either I need to reprogram my body to handle stress in the exact opposite way, or I need to minimize my stress - I'm honestly not sure which method seems more feasible!
Last night, I did the stationary bike for 25 minutes, went 7 miles and burned 400 calories - I'm going to stick with it, and hopefully undo the damage that all this stress has done!
Friday, September 2, 2011
Back On The Weigh In Train
Choo choo, choo choo, here comes the weigh in train.
Who's ready to hop aboard?
I've gotten really used to not doing the weigh ins. Yes, my scale was packed. Yes, I took my time finding it. And yes, I enjoyed not having a string of minor panic attacks between Thursday night and Friday morning leading up to my weekly weigh in.
But, the scale has been located, unpacked, and has taken up permanent residence leaning against the wall next to the bathroom door (because the bathroom literally does not have the floor space to accommodate the 12 inch by 12 inch scale).
So, it cannot be avoided any longer - time for the big weigh in reveal.
I.....drum roll.....
stayed the same....again.
I've been slacking on the exercise, which is my big problem. I'm pretty sure that if I get myself back in the habit of working out every day, not matter what, that I'll begin to see the numbers on the scale move in a direction that doesn't make me want to curl up in a corner to cry!
A new week, (hopefully) lower temperatures, and a true desire to make some progress!!!
Who's ready to hop aboard?
I've gotten really used to not doing the weigh ins. Yes, my scale was packed. Yes, I took my time finding it. And yes, I enjoyed not having a string of minor panic attacks between Thursday night and Friday morning leading up to my weekly weigh in.
But, the scale has been located, unpacked, and has taken up permanent residence leaning against the wall next to the bathroom door (because the bathroom literally does not have the floor space to accommodate the 12 inch by 12 inch scale).
So, it cannot be avoided any longer - time for the big weigh in reveal.
I.....drum roll.....
stayed the same....again.
I've been slacking on the exercise, which is my big problem. I'm pretty sure that if I get myself back in the habit of working out every day, not matter what, that I'll begin to see the numbers on the scale move in a direction that doesn't make me want to curl up in a corner to cry!
A new week, (hopefully) lower temperatures, and a true desire to make some progress!!!
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