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A number of factors led to my decision to spend last weekend shopping for new clothes.

1.) New job = Need for work-appropriate wardrobe (which I did not have)

2.) I purged my wardrobe in California before we moved, including the one pair of jeans that fit (I figured since they had holes in them, I could try a little harder)

3.) Given the fact that I haven't lived in Northeast Ohio for over 4 years, I realized that my "California wardrobe" was not going to cut it in the cooler (ok, frigid) temperatures that Ohio brings in the fall and winter months

4.) I'm 30 years old...I should start dressing like a grown up, not a kid in college (enter my traditional sweatshirt, jeans and flip flops wardrobe)

So, given all of this, it seemed appropriate to spend a little money (and when I say "a little money", I mean "more money than I've ever spent on clothes before") and invest in some upgrades.

I've never claimed to be a fashionista - in fact, I'm usually hard pressed to put a decent outfit together if I haven't first seen it on a mannequin or in a magazine.  Sure, I see outfits on other people that I like (and usually a lot that I don't like), but I was not blessed with the gene that allows me to replicate it!  And even if I could create a decent looking outfit, odds are I'd talk myself out of trying it on, for fear that it wouldn't fit.

So, there I was in Avenue (a store specifically geared towards those of us who lean towards the plus size end of the spectrum), trying desperately to break out of my long sleeved t-shirt and bootcut jeans funk.

Ben, being the saint that he is, dutifully walked through the store as I went through my usual recital of "I couldn't wear something like that", "No, that's not my style", "Look how expensive this is!", and "Ugh, I'm never going to find anything, let's just go home."

He was patient, attentive, and gently encouraging as I slowly loaded my arms with my new "breakout" wardrobe. 

He sat silently as I trudged into the fitting room to begin what I was sure would be an embarrassing exercise in how chubby girls shouldn't wear certain things.

As I slowly made my way through the pile of clothes that I'd selected to try on, we both became more and more encouraged.  I was actually finding things that I liked! 

Jeans that fit - CHECK!
A cute tie-in-front sweater - CHECK!
A pair of semi-dress pants for work - CHECK!

I started to panic a bit when I got to the skinny jeans and leggings, that I'd agreed to try on, but was positive would look ridiculous on me.  I try desperately to hide the shape of my legs (is lumpy even a shape?), so the idea of accentuating them felt a little strange.  But, there I was, humoring my husband by trying on an outfit that I would have NEVER had the courage to try on my own.

Now, I know that the people who work in these stores are paid to tell you how fabulous you look, but when I came out of the dressing room wearing a tunic sweater, leggings, and knee-high boots (and feeling seriously self-conscious), they began to swarm.  Literally, they stopped their conversations to come get a closer look at me in my new "Oh, I'm so self-conscious, I don't know that I'll ever wear this" outfit.

The only opinion I was really interested in in was Ben's - I knew he'd tell me honestly if I looked ridiculous.  As it turns out, he didn't need to speak for me to know what he thought of my new look.  I've honestly never felt better about myself than I did when I saw the look on Ben's face.  His eyes lit up as he slowly looked me over from head to toe and tried to hide his enthusiasm as I worked through my insecurities.

Long story short, shopping is a nightmare, and being plus sized and shopping is flat out torture!  But, when you have a patient husband, a willing spirit, and a credit score good enough to qualify you for the store credit card (thus granting you additional discounts on your purchase), it's worth the hassle to come away with some wardrobe pieces that actually fit properly and make you look like you're capable of more than rolling out of bed and falling into whatever clothes happen to be close by!

I came away with my first pair of skinny jeans, leggings, and knee-high boots - now I just need to work up the guts to wear all of it out in public!